My First Born

I am beginning to understand how each of us can be special to God. I have a long way to go in that area, but being a mother helps me understand how it is possible. The first thing I think of about Haddee is, "She is so special." And then I think of Eva and the same thought comes to mind but in a different way. And now Justus; I am finding there is something unique about a momma and her boy. I have kept him in my room longer than either of the girls.


But lately there is just something extra special about Haddee.





She has been asking the funniest questions that are so innocent and sincere. I should be writing them down, but I don't, so I am trying to remember them all now to "document" them.




Her and I were in the van alone last week for a Wal-Mart run. She was unusually quiet on the trip there and then when we got out of the van she looks at me and asks, "Mom, is Satan a man or a snake?" I answer. Then she asks, "Where does he live?" I answered hell, which isn't the correct answer but the first and easiest explanation I could think of. Then she said, "No he doesn't. He lives on earth. Is he everywhere and in our hearts like God is?" This was getting a little deep for me as we were walking through the Wal-Mart parking lot, but I did my best to answer and then followed up with those questions later after I had thought about it.




She also asked me the other day why Jesus was bleeding all over when he hung on the cross. She sees the pictures in her picture Bible. She is so observant and sensitive.


She is fascinated with me nursing Justus. She asks, "Does Daddy have milk in his boobs too?" Then, "Do I have milk in mine?" Makes me laugh. But I have to be careful not to make her feel stupid for asking the questions. When I laugh or tell people about what she says I can tell it makes her uncomfortable.



She is growing and changing all the time. As I have mentioned many times, she is just so sensitive. Her Sunday school teachers have mentioned how she watches her friends and is very attuned to their feelings. I know this is how God made her and it is a quality that He will use for His glory. I love it about her. But it is also a hard thing. It is hard when she cries because her sister looks at her funny or her dad is chasing her or I tell her she can't do something and she tells me it "hurts her feelings". She has been extra sensitive since Justus is born. Her little mouth turns down and her eyes start to water at almost anything. It breaks my heart. She needs lots of hugs and extra attention during the day. I am praying a lot and doing my best. The last thing I want to do is break her sweet little spirit when I am frustrated and impatient.



She gets more beautiful every day. I can't believe she will be 4 soon. I often ask her as we are snuggling if she can just stay 3 forever. She gives me some kind of too mature answer about how she needs to grow up and go to school but that she will never leave me. I can't imagine loving anyone or anything more.

Justus Judah

He is finally here - my 9lb. bundle of boy joy! Scott never let on that he would be more excited one way or another (girl or boy) but after seeing our boy, he did a celebration dance around the hospital room that made me smile. I will spare you the details of labor - but I don't know how women say you forget about the pain. I haven't forgotten either of the girls and I definitely won't forget this one either.

He is a wonderful baby so far. He eats well and when not eating wants to suck on his thumb or pacifier. He farts a lot and they really stink! That doesn't seem normal to me.



I forget so quickly how wonderful it is to hold a newborn. He just snuggles right up to me and I love rubbing my check against his head while he lays on me. I also love when I kiss his check and he turns his mouth toward me as if to kiss me back. I have been trying to treasure every moment I get to just sit and hold him. It gets less and less with every kid.



The girls adore their little brother. Haddee can just sit and hold him for hours. Eventually she just lays down on the couch next to him. She is so gentle and sweet and wants to help with everything. Eva loves to hug and kiss him. She is not so gentle. She wants to climb in all his baby things and push him high in his swing. I always have to keep my eye on her. I love how she says, "My little brotter." Each word gets louder as she says it until she is screaming the last one.




Some people have asked about his name. Scott had this name picked out for his boy since he was in college. It comes from the scripture in Acts 18:7. Paul went to the house of "Justus, a worshiper of God." Scott wrote right in his Bible that he wanted to name his son that over 15 years ago. When I was pregnant with Haddee we decided on that name for a boy and finally got a chance to use it. Our prayer is that our Justus would also be a worshiper of God!